Tocxica's Happy Birthday
by Captain LeBubbles
Summary: Tocxica had given her the best birthday present ever. How was she supposed to top that? Sequel to The Bubbles’ Happy Birthday. Now featuring the Doctor, because I couldn't resist. Finally complete, and boy am I glad.
1. In Which Bubbles is Brilliant, and Tocxi

**Tocxica's Happy Birthday**

**By: The Bubbles**

**Summary: Tocxica had given her the best birthday present ever. How was she supposed to top that? Sequel to The Bubbles' Happy Birthday.**

**A/N- Tocxi, you better appreciate me for this. Anyway, same deal as the last story, one chapter a day till it's done.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Whoniverse (anymore), but Tocxi now temporarily owns Jack. I started to ask what she was gonna do with him, but then I decided that I really don't want to know.**

**Tocxica- Nothing… **_**too**_** kinky.**

**Bubbles- Y'know, by Jack's standards.**

**Tocxica- (opens mouth to protest, then thinks better of it.) Ok, yeah.**

**(o.o.o)**

**Chapter 1: In Which Bubbles is Brilliant, and Tocxica Doesn't Like Rose**

**(o.o.o)**

They were sitting on the couch in Bubbles' room in her _new_ house watching Doctor Who and Torchwood and Sarah Jane reruns when Bubbles suddenly remembered that tomorrow was Tocxica's birthday and that she had failed to get a present for her friend for the third year in a row. And then she remembered that she had vowed to get her something fabulous this year, and was about to ask her what she wanted when the TARDIS came on screen and they were silenced, both remembering their own adventure on the wondrous ship some five months ago, when snowmen had caged them and Jack had saved them.

"It really is the best ship ever," Tocxica said, free to talk now that Rose was on the screen instead and they really didn't feel like listening to her anyway.

"By the way," Bubbles weedled slyly, "I've been meaning to ask you how you managed to get onto the TARDIS back then."

"It was easy." She grinned smugly. "I wished myself there."

"Oh. I see." She looked at her watch. "Oh, would ya look at the time! It's getting pretty late, you'd better be getting home now, school night, wouldn't want your dad to worry an' all that, thanks for coming, blah blah blah."

Tocxica went limp to prevent Bubbles from dragging her off of the couch and whined, "But _Senpaiiii_, it's _summer_. _And_ it's only 8:30, _and_ you always try to get me to stay, _AND_ I'm supposed to be sleeping over anyway, remember?"

"Oh yeah." She sat down, wondering how she was going to get away.

After a while, Tocxica sighed in disgust. "This is a Rose-centric episode, and Jack's not even in it."

"It's the first season. They're _all_ Rose-centric."

"_And Jack's not even in it,_" Tocxica reiterated. "Let's watch _Coupling_ or something."

"Yeah, all right." Bubbles changed the channel, and then got a brilliant idea. Not quite as brilliant as her idea to learn Vulcan in case Spock ever turned up on her doorstep, but still brilliant. She jumped up and ran out. "Be back in a little while. If I'm not back by 12, tape _Whose Line_ for me. Tape's in the VCR."

"Ok," Tocxica called absently. She was not paying much attention as Jack was currently on the screen

Bubbles stepped out into the cool night air and breathed deeply. After several minutes of looking around, she figured out which direction Northeast was in and closed her, took a deep breath, and wished that she were at Torchwood…

Meanwhile, Tocxica looked around the room and wondered where Bubbles had wandered off to. Several seconds of searching later, she figured she would turn up again in a little while and returned to the television.


	2. In Which Ianto is Annoyed, and Bubbles W

**Tocxica's Happy Birthday**

**By: The Bubbles**

**A/N- Tocxi... I'm glad you're enjoying this story, and I hate to tell you that you're not in this chapter... but Jack is. Enjoy.**

**Summary: Tocxica had given her the best birthday present ever. How was she supposed to top that? Sequel to The Bubbles' Happy Birthday.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Whoniverse (anymore), but Tocxi now temporarily owns Jack. I started to ask what she was gonna do with him, but then I decided that I really don't want to know.**

**Tocxica- Nothing… **_**too**_** kinky.**

**Bubbles- Y'know, by Jack's standards.**

**Tocxica- (opens mouth to protest, then thinks better of it.) Ok, yeah.**

**(o.o.o)**

**Chapter 2: In Which Ianto is Annoyed and Bubbles Won't Let Go**

**(o.o.o)**

"Let go!"

"No!"

"You're not supposed to be here!"

"Let me talk to Jack!"

"He's busy!"

"It's im_portant_!"

"Let. Go!"

"No!"

Ianto was trying to get the strange visitor to leave; unfortunately, she had attached herself to a chair leg that was bolted to the floor and pull all he liked, she wasn't letting go.

Finally, he stopped tugging on her, completely out of breath.

"Fine," he said, panting for air. "I'll take you to Jack."

"That's better." She stood up and made a great show of straightening her shirt where he had been pulling her. "Which way?"

He pointed. "Right through that door up there."

Bubbles squinted at the door he indicated for several seconds. "Hey, no fair, that's the exit! You're just trying to get rid of me!"

"That's because you're not allowed in here!"

He lunged and grabbed her, but she wriggled out of his grasp and took off running. Up the stairs she went, then back down, then around a computer, then under a chair, then back up the stairs. All the while he had been gaining on her, because while Bubbles is very much out of shape, Ianto is quite used to chasing all manner of things that can run.

Also, she kept tripping over things. Bubbles is not known for her coordination.

He was almost on her. A few more inches and he would be able to grab her, when suddenly,

"Ack!"

"What the-? Bubbles?"

Bubbles looked up to see what- or rather, who- she had run into. It was Jack, so she did the only sensible thing she could think of. She got up and scrambled behind him, then pointed around him at Ianto.

"Help me, Jack! He's trying to eat me!"

Jack seemed to find this amusing, but Ianto didn't and stopped short.

"I'm not trying to eat you, I'm just trying to get you to leave because you don't have security clearance to be here."

"But I only came to see Jack. Jack doesn't mind me being here, do you, Jack?" She gave him a puppy dog look.

"No it's fine. I met her back when I was traveling." He opened his office door and gestured for her to go in. "Come on, we can talk in here."

**(o.o.o)**

Once inside, he indicated for her to sit down.

"So what can I do for you? No wait, first things first, how long has it been for you?"

"Five months," she said. "Well, actually, four months and twenty-nine days. That's why I'm here."

"Really?"

"Do you remember that girl I was with last time we saw each other?"

"The short one that kept chewing on my arm? Yeah, I remember."

Bubbles giggled. "Don't call her short to her face. She's very sensitive about it. Anyway, tomorrow is her birthday and since she gave me such an awesome present for my birthday and I've forgotten to get her something for the third year in a row…"

Jack could see where this was going. "You want to give her me."

"Weeeeelllllll… Yeah, pretty much." She scratched the back of her head nervously. "So will you do it? Pleaseohpleaseohpleeeeease?" She adopted a very kicked puppy look. He sighed.

"All right. Couldn't hurt, I suppose."

"Yay!" She did a brief victory dance before hugging him tightly. "I _knew_ you wouldn't let me down."


	3. In Which Tocxica Kills Jack, and Jack Co

**Tocxica's Happy Birthday**

**By: The Bubbles**

**Summary: Tocxica had given her the best birthday present ever. How was she supposed to top that? Sequel to The Bubbles' Happy Birthday.**

**A/N- Tocxi, you better appreciate this, because I worked really hard on it. Also, this should make you happy. Even though Rose is going to be in the season 4 finale, apparently she's going to leave later. Also, someone is supposed to die. It could be Rose! (happy squee!) Or, it might just be involved with my bogus theory about Donna. Oh yeah, and you people should go vote on my Doctor poll.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Whoniverse (anymore), but Tocxi now temporarily owns Jack. I started to ask what she was gonna do with him, but then I decided that I really don't want to know.**

**Tocxica- Nothing… **_**too**_** kinky.**

**Bubbles- Y'know, by Jack's standards.**

**Tocxica- (opens mouth to protest, then thinks better of it.) Ok, yeah.**

**(o.o.o)**

**Chapter 3: In Which Tocxica Kills Jack, and Jack Comes Back to Life**

**(o.o.o)**

It was a different house than before, Jack noted, before Bubbles dragged him inside and into the back bedroom. His eyes roamed the room, taking in the posters on the wall- some of which he was in- and the various decorations before landing on the unmoving lump on the bed, which Bubbles was currently shaking roughly.

"In a minute," the lump mumbled. Bubbles shook harder.

"Tocxi, you have to wake up so I can give you your birthday present! Now wake up. Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up- I'm prepared to do this as long as it takes- wake up wake up wake up wake up-"

"Okay, I'm up!" The lump sat up, revealing it to be Tocxica. "Where do you get all that energy from, anyway?"

Bubbles grinned. "Ploog," she said, which made no sense to Jack but apparently Tocxica knew what she meant and shrugged.

Tocxica put on a pair of glasses. "Ok, so where's my present?"

Bubbles giggled maniacally and pointed at Jack. Tocxica stared, blinked, stared some more, looked from Jack to Bubbles and back to Jack, and squeed. Then there was movement, and everything went black.

Jack felt the familiar sensation of being dragged over glass as he was brought back to life and sat up. Bubbles was berating Tocxica.

"Tocxi, how many times do I have to tell you not to kill people? It's illegal and rude, even if they are immortal!"

"Well you nearly glomped the Doctor into regenerating!"

"That's different."

"How so?"

"I'm me, and you're not."

"But that's not fair!"

Jack cleared his throat and they both looked at him happily. "Oh good, you're alive again."

"Right… Anyway… Don't worry about it so much. You'd actually be surprised how often that happens."

"What? Dying in general, or getting glomped to death by fangirls?"

"Both, interestingly enough." He looked from one girl to another. "So, ladies, what do you have in mind for today?"

Tocxica grinned. "Oh, oh, oh, let's do… oh. I don't know. Even with Jack, there's not much to do around here that doesn't involve Doctor Who reruns, and that might cause continuity problem because we don't know where this falls in the Whoniverse timeline."

"A naughty problem, not _easily_ solved," Bubbles said. Tocxica shot her a look. She grinned sheepishly, then said, _"Act_ually, it _is_ easily solved. Hey Jack. What's the last major event to happen over at Torchwood? What was the last alien you beat up? Anyone die recently?"

"Well, Owen, but he got better. And we beat up a Nostrovite at Gwen's wedding, does that ring any bells?"

"Excellent," Bubbles replied cheerfully. "Now we know what not to tell you."

"Very nice," Tocxica said, "But that still doesn't answer the question of what we're going to do today."

"Oh, now _that's_ not a problem at all." Bubbles giggled maniacally and nudged Jack. "Show 'er. Go on, show 'er."

"Gladly." He held up an obviously alien device. "Do you know what this is?"

"Oh, oh, wait… no."

Bubbles could no longer contain her excitement. "It's a vortex manipulator! Well, not really. Well, sort of. Weeeell…"

"Senpai, you're channeling the Doctor again." She shut up. Tocxica turned to Jack. "So what is it?"

"It's a sort-of vortex manipulator. It has preset coordinates and only enough charge for one round trip. It fell through the rift a while back and I've been studying it for some time. It will take us somewhere were we can do exciting things like topple governments or fight alien monsters or run from dinosaurs."

"Sounds like scads of fun," Bubbles said. She then looked at Tocxica and then herself. Both of them were still in their pj's. "We should put pants on."

"Yes, yes we should," Tocxica agreed.

They shoved Jack into the living room, where he waited for them. A moment later they joined him, wearing jeans and t-shirts and- in the case of Bubbles- a plastic yellow hard hat and shoulder bag.

"Ready to go?" he asked. They nodded. "Right, then just take my arms and we'll be off."

They each took one of his arms as he punched in a set of commands on the sort-of vortex manipulator. There was a pause, then the odd sensation of being sucked into a jiffy-lube and the next thing they knew, they were in the vortex, on their way to…

Somewhere.


	4. In Which Our Heroes Are Kidnapped, and t

**Tocxica's Happy Birthday**

**By: The Bubbles**

**Summary: Tocxica had given her the best birthday present ever. How was she supposed to top that? Sequel to The Bubbles' Happy Birthday.**

**A/N- Tocxi, you better appreciate this, because I worked really hard on it. Also, don't you just love the title of this chapter?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Whoniverse (anymore), but Tocxi now temporarily owns Jack. I started to ask what she was gonna do with him, but then I decided that I really don't want to know.**

**Tocxica- Nothing… **_**too**_** kinky.**

**Bubbles- Y'know, by Jack's standards.**

**Tocxica- (opens mouth to protest, then thinks better of it.) Ok, yeah.**

**(o.o.o)**

**Chapter 4: In Which Our Heroes Are Kidnapped, and the Word Boemania is Vastly Overused**

**(o.o.o)**

They arrived on a planet called Kdf lihkn (don't try to pronounce it, you just might hurt yourself), in the middle of an ocean on an island that was very, very tiny and was making them all very, very sleepy. Bubbles, the only one still awake, was currently debating about whether or not it would be worth the movement involved to bury Jack up to his neck in the sand when she spotted something on the horizon. Grabbing a piece of driftwood from the ground, she began poking Jack in the shoulder repeatedly. He batted it away and muttered, "Not now Ianto, I'm sleeping," which disturbed Bubbles on numerous levels. She jabbed him really hard in his face, coming very close to putting his eye out, and he sat up.

"Was that really necessary?" he asked, rubbing his newly bruised cheek. Bubbles pointed out at the horizon. "Ah. I see. Well, wake up Tocxica-" At this point he realized that Tocxica had fallen asleep using his leg as a teddy bear. He tried to no avail to shake her off before returning his attention to the matter at hand. "I'll see if the transmitter is charged enough to return us home."

It wasn't, of course.

"Come on, Tocxi, wakey wakey. Time to get up…"

Tocxica ignored her friend. She mumbled "Boemania…" and rolled over.

Bubbles sighed and shrugged. "Oh well. Sorry Jack, you'll just have to put your clothes back on."

That did it. Tocxica sat up and looked expectantly at Jack. When she saw he was clothed, her face fell. "Liar," she said. Bubbles smiled.

"I'm sure if you asked nice and said please he'd consider it."

"I'll wait until you're gone," she said with a wave of her hand. "Why did you wake me up? Wait a minute. I'm on a desert island with _Jack_. Why was I asleep in the first place?"

"Because the atmosphere in Kdf lihkn makes people drowsy," he explained. "Unless of course you have a special plant that releases a chemical that keeps you awake. But on to the matter at hand. What are we going to do about that?"

He pointed out to the ship coming aver closer, accompanied by dramatic music.

"We could try to parley with them," Bubbles suggested, earning her a 'whap' from Tocxica.

"You aren't allowed to watch Pirates of the Caribbean anymore."

Bubbles snorted. "Yeah, like you can stop me." She grinned. "Anyway, look on the bright side!"

Jack shook his head. He had a feeling he knew what was coming.

"What bright side?"

"We've already got Captain Jack!"

"Oh! Ha! Yeah, that's funny, because I've never heard _that_ joke before! Ha! Did you think of that one on your own?"

"Senpai, how long have you been waiting to use that joke?"

Bubbles had the decency to look apologetic. "Since January," she said sheepishly.

They stared at her. After several seconds, she threw her hands up into the air and shouted, "Bomania!" which had the desired affect of cracking up Tocxica and confusing Jack.

And then they were captured.

The pirates in question were much taller than them (even taller next to Tocxica), with mottled skin that ranged from gray to blue. Their faces were almost flat, with slit nostrils and wide mouths and round, dark eyes. Paper-thin webbing grew between long fingers and toes. They had no hair, and a finlike ridge ran along their heads and down their backs. All of them were wearing necklaces made of some bright red plant, a sharp contrast to the cool colors of their skin, and after they had tied up our heroes, they slipped similar necklaces on them. They were the nNdgo, and if they hadn't been holding swords on the trio, they would have been _seriously_ cool.

The nNdgo tied them up and half dragged them to the longboat. They were then lined up in front of it while the group's leader assessed them. He looked them over, trying to decide what they were.

"Do you have any words before you are taken to the ship?"

"It's my birthday!" Tocxica said hopefully.

He snorted. "So?"

"So… you should let us go. You know, as a birthday present."

He snorted and turned to Bubbles, completely ignoring Tocxica's subsequent pout.

"Um." She looked around. "Parley?"

The word earned her an elbow in the ribs from Tocxica and another snort from the nNdgo leader, who turned to Jack.

Jack was at a loss. He'd only ever met one nNdgo in his life, and that one had tried to kill him. What was more, the nNdgo were asexual in every sense of the word, so the famous Captain Jack charm would be utterly useless. Finally, he threw up his arms and said, very loudly,

"Boemania!"

The girls were doubled over with laughter for the entire ride to the ship.

**(o.o.o)**

**A/N- The nNdgo and Kdf lihkn are property of the Bubbles. If you wish to use them in your own story, contact me for permission first. The plant doesn't have a name, so feel free to suggest one.**

**_Naked Jack!_ Okay, now that I have your attention, scroll down and push that little purple button that says review and tell me what you think of this story.**


	5. In Which Our Heroes Escape, and Jack Die

**Tocxica's Happy Birthday**

**By: The Bubbles**

**Summary: Tocxica had given her the best birthday present ever. How was she supposed to top that? Sequel to The Bubbles' Happy Birthday.**

**A/N- Tocxi, you better appreciate this, because I worked really hard on it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Whoniverse (anymore), but Tocxi now temporarily owns Jack. I started to ask what she was gonna do with him, but then I decided that I really don't want to know.**

**Tocxica- Nothing… **_**too**_** kinky.**

**Bubbles- Y'know, by Jack's standards.**

**Tocxica- (opens mouth to protest, then thinks better of it.) Ok, yeah.**

**(o.o.o)**

**Chapter 5: In Which Our Heroes Escape and Jack Dies (Again)**

**(o.o.o)**

They were separated; the girls put in one cell while the nNdgo took Jack away for questioning.

Tocxica bit into a mini-muffin and watched Bubbles. She was over in the corner of the cell with her back to her friend. Tocxica wondered what she was doing. After a while, she turned around. She spotted the pack of mini-muffins in the smaller girl's hand and her brows furrowed.

"Where did you get the mini-muffins?"

"Out of your bag." She held up the shoulder bag that Bubbles carried everywhere. "There's another pack in there if you're hungry."

"Oh, gee, you're so kind," Bubbles said sarcastically. She sat down and made a show of eating the mini-muffins slowly.

"Ok," Tocxica said as Bubbles was finally brushing away the crumbs of her snack, "What were you doing?"

"Escaping." She stood up and beamed. Flipping her braids behind her head, she kicked the cell door behind her and it fell to the floor with a clang.

"When did you-?"

Bubbles held up a screwdriver and beamed even harder. "You know I never go anywhere without it."

Tocxica laughed and hugged the other girl. "Senpai, did I ever tell you how awesome it is that you have Time Lord pockets?"

"Actually, you usually complain about it."

"Never again, I swear it."

"Liar."

"Yeah…"

"Come on." Bubbles pocketed the screwdriver and shouldered her bag. "Let's go rescue Jack."

They took off running down the corridor.

"Shouldn't _he_ be rescuing _us_?"

"You would think that wouldn't you?"

As it happened, Jack was on his way to rescue them. They bumped into him as they rounded a corner.

"Whoa, slow down there." He helped them to their feet. "I was just on my way to rescue you. How did you get out?"

"It's a pirate ship, not a federal prison," Bubbles answered sardonically. "How did you escape?"

"I died, then ran while they were trying to figure out what to do with me." He held up his arm to show them that the sort-of vortex manipulator was missing. "If we want to escape we have to go get it back from them."

"Let's go then!"

"Running? Tocxi, do we have to?"

"Come on." She grabbed the other girl's wrist and dragged her along after Jack. "If we don't run we might die. And not all of us are conveniently immortal."

**(o.o.o)**

The first mate entered the captain's study.

"Sir, the prisoners have escaped."

"Of course they escaped," the captain said. "This is a pirate ship, not a federal prison."

"Sir?"

"Find them. Bring them to me."

"Aye, Captain."

**(o.o.o)**

Our heroes had been backed into a corner. This is what happens on a pirate ship, because although they were no longer imprisoned, there was still nowhere to run to. Jack had produced a blaster from- well, actually, you don't want to know where from- and was in front of the girls, protecting them (which caused Tocxica to nearly faint).

Two of the nNdgo were down, and their three comrades were hanging back. Finally, the smallest one got bold and darted forward. He rammed his sword into Jack's gut before falling to the blast that Jack fired at him.

Jack fell backwards, and Bubbles wrenched the sword from his belly. She thrust it toward their enemy.

"Yar, avast ye me hearties!"

Tocxica face-palmed. "No more pirate movies for you."

Still, her stall tactics had been enough, because at that moment, two very good things happened. One, Jack gasped and came back to life. And two, a whirring, grinding noise filled the air just behind the nNdgo. A moment later, everyone present was staring at a little blue police box that had come from nowhere to appear on the pirate ship.

**(o.o.o)**

**A/N- Yes, I threw in the Doctor, because I just couldn't resist. Also, the nNdgo have told me that two of the letters in their name are silent, but they won't tell me which ones because apparently it's funny to watch the puny human ape try to wrap her tongue around unpronouncable alien words.**

**(sigh)**

**This is why I hate fish people.**


	6. In Which The Doctor Arrives, and There i

**Tocxica's Happy Birthday**

**By: The Bubbles**

**Summary: Tocxica had given her the best birthday present ever. How was she supposed to top that? Sequel to The Bubbles' Happy Birthday.**

**A/N- Tocxi, you better appreciate this, because I worked really hard on it. Anyway, I didn't think it was fair that Jack got to show up in my story and the Doctor didn't get to show up in Tocxi's.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Whoniverse (anymore), but Tocxi now temporarily owns Jack. I started to ask what she was gonna do with him, but then I decided that I really don't want to know.**

**Tocxica- Nothing… **_**too**_** kinky.**

**Bubbles- Y'know, by Jack's standards.**

**Tocxica- (opens mouth to protest, then thinks better of it.) Ok, yeah.**

**(o.o.o)**

**Chapter 6: In Which The Doctor Arrives, and There is Far Too Much Running**

**(o.o.o)**

"Hello, everyone!" The Doctor said cheerily as he exited the TARDIS. He realized where he was. "Oh, this is brilliant! I'm on a pirate ship! And not just any pirate ship, a _nNdgo_ pirate ship!"

Tocxica noted with a scowl how effortlessly he pronounced nNdgo, but there was not much time for anything else because Jack had shoved them all into the TARDIS and slammed the door closed.

"Well what was that for, eh? Oh, wait, I get it, you must have ticked off the nNdgo! Well, I guess pirates are pirates… and who's this? Oh, it's Bubbles and Tocxica! Nice to see you again; mind you, you won't be seeing much else if you don't stop squeezing me, even a Time Lord can only take so much squeezing before he is forced to regenerate, and I'm getting uncomfortably close to the end of my regenerations so if you wouldn't mind…"

Jack grabbed the Doctor and Tocxica and between the two of them they managed to pry Bubbles off of the Last-of-the-Time-Lords before he was glomped into regeneration.

After this frightening ordeal, Jack explained what was going on while Tocxica berated Bubbles for nearly killing the Doctor.

"Senpai, that was very irresponsible of you."

"I was just doing something nice."

"There's no guarantee that the next one will be this hot."

"We were just minding our own business when they showed up."

"It's going to take them forever to find someone pretty enough to replace David!"

"And then they captured us for no good reason!"

"And if he wasn't ginger you'd feel terrible."

"So you see, Doctor, I had nothing to do with this."

"Say you're sorry, Senpai."

"I think you owe me an apology, Doctor."

They all looked at one another, then Bubbles looked as ashamed as possible.

"I'm sorry I almost forced you to regenerate into someone who may or may not be younger, hotter, and ginger." She stuck out her hand and he shook it.

Jack and the Doctor headed over to the controls.

"Right then, now that you've had your little adventure, we can take you girls home."

"Aw, but-" Bubbles looked guiltily down at her hands. "It's only, I've never been on a pirate ship before."

They both stared at her for several seconds before Tocxica caught on.

"Oh, I get it. Senpai, do you want to go look at the treasure?"

More guilty finger twiddling. "Yes."

"I don't know…" the Doctor said. His eyes twinkled mischievously. "It could be dangerous…"

They all looked at him, then turned to the TARDIS doors. They could here the nNdgo trying to get in. His face split into a grin.

"I have only one thing to say," he finally said. They looked expectantly at him in the drawn out silence. "Allons-y!"

They ran out the doors, surprising the nNdgo enough that they were able to make it out unscathed. And then they kept running, and they ran and ran and ran, and then Bubbles tripped and they helped her up and ran some more. They ran until they found themselves in the brig, and then they stopped because there was nowhere left to run.

"What now?" Jack asked of the Doctor. He stared thoughtfully around them.

"Well, if _I_ were a nNdgo pirate, and it was very important to me to keep my treasure safe, then I would put it…"

He and Bubbles hit upon it at the same time. They exchanged manic grins.

"The Captain's study!" they exclaimed at the same time, and then took off running again.

Tocxica slumped her shoulders and sighed. "But I'm _laaaazyyyyy_! Senpai! Doctor! Why do I have to _ruuuuuuun_?"

"It's not so bad, the running," Jack said. He reached out and took her hand (she nearly fainted) and added, "Come on, let's go find the treasure."

**(o.o.o)**

**Bubbles- How much do you love me right now?**

**Tocxica- (incomprehensible squeak)**

**Bubbles- I'm guessing that means a lot.**

**Tocxica- (affirming squeak)**

**Bubbles- (smugly) You're right, I am awesome.**

**Tocxica- (glomps)**


	7. In Which There is Treasure, and This Sto

**Tocxica's Happy Birthday**

**By: The Bubbles**

**Summary: Tocxica had given her the best birthday present ever. How was she supposed to top that? Sequel to The Bubbles' Happy Birthday.**

**A/N- Tocxi, you better appreciate this, because I worked really hard on it. This story is a lot longer than it's predecessor, and don't let the chapter title fool you, because it **_**still**_** isn't over.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Whoniverse (anymore), but Tocxi now temporarily owns Jack. I started to ask what she was gonna do with him, but then I decided that I really don't want to know.**

**Tocxica- Nothing… **_**too**_** kinky.**

**Bubbles- Y'know, by Jack's standards.**

**Tocxica- (opens mouth to protest, then thinks better of it.) Ok, yeah.**

**(o.o.o)**

**Chapter 7: In Which There is Treasure, and This Story Finally Ends**

**(o.o.o)**

By the time they found the Doctor and Bubbles, they had been captured. Not realizing this, they got too close and were captured as well. They were tied up and taken into a room with a window letting in the two sunsets happening outside.

"Pretty," Bubbles said nonchalantly.

Tocxica rolled her eyes. "Pretty? Are you serious? We're tied up and about to be killed and all you can do is look at the sights? Bubbles! We are about to _die_! And Jack might revive and the Doctor'll regenerate, but have you forgotten that we are _human_, no matter how many times you convince yourself that you're Saiyan or Vulcan or whatever else? And even if you were, I'm not, and I don't want to die on my birthday or any other day for that matter!"

Bubbles craned her neck around to look at her ranting companion. "Ya done?"

"Yes. I feel much better, actually."

"Good." She and the others stood up, allowing the rope to fall harmlessly to the ground. "And incidentally, I'm Gallifreyan this week. Y'know, cause of the Doctor being here and all."

"Right." Tocxica picked up the rope and looked from it to Bubbles and back to it. "How did you-?"

Bubbles grinned and held up her pocketknife. "Six things, remember? Never go anywhere without 'em, especially if I'm on my way to an alien planet." She turned to the Doctor. "I did my part. Now it's your turn."

"Right then."

He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and held it at the door opposite the one they'd been brought through. It opened, and they all filed into the captain's study.

The captain didn't look at all surprised to see that they had escaped, and merely nodded to the Doctor to close the door.

They, on the other hand, were quite surprised, because the captain was not at all like they were expecting.

For one, he wasn't nNdgo. The nNdgo were sort of like a humanoid cross between a frog and a fish, but the captain was more like a humanoid crab than anything else. His thick, shell-like skin was a murky brown color, and his hands were decidedly claw-like. His eyes sat on stalks that grew out from his head, and where his face should have been was just a small sucker for a mouth.

He was also quite small. Two, maybe two-and-a-half feet, making them all seem like giants and making Tocxica look normal sized.

**(Story skids to a halt. Tocxica glares at Bubbles.**

**Tocxica- I **_**knew**_** you couldn't go the whole story without making at least one crack about my height.**

**Bubbles- I'm sorry, but you're short and I can't help myself.**

**Tocxica- (sigh) You're so mean to me.)**

"So you've found me," the captain said. "Well, I had a feeling you would. But I won't go without a fight. You tell the Agency that they'll never see any of me again, that's for sure. N'kIus Fidge isn't going back to prison in this time or another!"

"Oh!" Jack looked surprised. "I _knew_ I'd seen your face before!"

The girls were confused. "Who is N'kIus Fidge?"

Fidge looked taken aback. "You mean you _aren't_ Time Agents here to take me in to prison."

They all shook their heads.

"But he's a Time Lord," Bubbles added helpfully, pointing at the Doctor.

"So you didn't know that I was wanted by the Time Agency and was hiding out here in the barbaric days of my people until everything had blown over?"

They all shook their heads again.

"Which means that I've royally screwed myself?"

They all nodded.

"Oooh…" His face fell. "I was always told my mouth would be the end of me."

"If it help," Bubbles said cheerfully while Jack tied him up, "We only came here for the treasure."

"Oh, _that_." He rolled his eyes. "The others are quite obsessed with treasure as well. You're welcome to take some if you like. I like to keep it under the brig level."

Thud. Thud. Thud.

"Hey, Tocxi, why'ya banging your head on the wall?"

**(o.o.o)**

The girls picked out a nice sized trunk and began filling it- and their pockets and Bubbles' bag- with whatever trinkets and treasure that suited their fancy. Jack looked on in amusement while inside, the Doctor saw to securing N'kIus so that he wouldn't escape.

"All right," he said, finally joining them in the treasure room. "We're ready to go when you are."

"All finished here!" Bubbles said cheerfully. "It's good you brought the TARDIS 'round. I would hate to have to lug this thing up all those steps."

The two began shoving the trunk in the direction of the TARDIS. Tocxica let Bubbles do most of the work. She was far too lazy for this kind of manual labor. Besides, the other girl needed to do something with all that excess energy she had acquired when the Doctor entered the story.

Bubbles started talking again, her speech broken from the effort of work. "So… why, exactly… is that guy… wanted? Phew, this is heavy! He… seemed so… nice and… y'know, he didn't care about the treasure."

"He tried to topple his planet's government by going back in time and changing history," Jack explained. He grabbed the other end of the trunk and dragged it the rest of the way to the TARDIS. The girls followed, flopping down and gasping for air. The Doctor noted their presence before absently snapping his fingers. The doors snapped shut.

"Right, then, let's get you two home, then it's off to Cardiff so to drop off Jack and I'll leave N'kIus with the Time Agency."

He began working the controls of the TARDIS. Within moments they heard the telltale sounds indicating that they had entered the time stream, finally on their way home.

**(o.o.o)**

**A/N- Ah, finally we are on our way home. I'm quite glad that this story is over, its been driving me mad trying to write it as I went along. Well, mostly over. There's the epilogue, of course.**


	8. Epilogue

**Tocxica's Happy Birthday**

**By: The Bubbles**

**Summary: Tocxica had given her the best birthday present ever. How was she supposed to top that? Sequel to The Bubbles' Happy Birthday.**

**A/N- Tocxi, you better appreciate this, because I worked really hard on it. Whoo hoo, the epilogue! This story is finally over for good!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Whoniverse (anymore), but Tocxi now temporarily owns Jack. I started to ask what she was gonna do with him, but then I decided that I really don't want to know.**

**Tocxica- Nothing… **_**too**_** kinky.**

**Bubbles- Y'know, by Jack's standards.**

**Tocxica- (opens mouth to protest, then thinks better of it.) Ok, yeah.**

**(o.o.o)**

**Epilogue**

**(o.o.o)**

The Doctor landed expertly on the carport of Bubbles' house. She darted out first and ran straight to the clock she had set up on the back porch.

"Excellent timing, Doctor! You got us back just ten minutes after we left!"

"Hey, get back in here!" Tocxica yelled. "You have to help us carry this gigantic trunk inside!"

"Yeah, all right…"

She returned to help, and between the four of them managed to get the trunk into Bubbles room. They stopped to rest then, and Tocxica took the oppurtunity to voice a question that had been on her mind since chapter 5.

"Doctor?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you know where to find us?"

"I didn't. Total coincidence."

"I don't believe in coincidences," Bubbles murmured quietly.

"Well… Neither do I, actually." He looked them over thoughtfully. "Maybe it was the TARDIS. Maybe she sensed you were in danger."

Both girls seemed to brighten at this point.

"You mean she really likes us that much?"

"What's not to like? Oh, by the way…" he adopted a thoughtful look to his face and began checking his pockets. After several seconds he found what he was looking for and pulled out two boxes wrapped in brown paper. "Birthday presents," he explained. "For both of you, because I forgot at our last adventure." He handed them each one of the packages. "But you're not allowed to open them until after we've left."

They each took the box he proffered them. Tocxica's was blockier, whilst Bubbles' was smaller, sort of long and thin. They both stared at them for several minutes before realizing that in the pause both Jack and the Doctor had scarpered.

"Hey, come back!"

They took off running through the house before finally catching up to them just as they were entering the TARDIS. They turned around.

"Yes?"

Both girls were suddenly speechless, for quite possibly the first time in their lives. Neither of them could think of what to say, until Tocxica grabbed Jack and kissed him hard. He seemed pleased.

"I'm legal now," she said happily. "So any time you want to come around and visit…"

Bubbles darted forward and hugged them both.

"Thank you," she said, "Y'know, for everything."

Several seconds later, and the TARDIS had gone.

"Come on." Bubbles nudged the smaller girl with her shoulder and they trudged up the steps to the house. When they reached the door, they heard the now-familiar grinding sound of the TARDIS rematerializing. They turned to look and the Doctor popped his head out.

"Quick question. Just exactly how did you get into Torchwood without anyone noticing?"

**(o.o.o)**

**A/N- Tocxica was on the phone with me when she was reading chapter five and was all like, "What is the Doctor doing here?" so I figured that maybe it would be a good idea to answer in case my **_**two other readers**_** were wondering. Also, if you want to know what was in the boxes or the answer to the Doctor's question, you'll have to wait till Christmas, because that's when the trilogy ends and all questions are answered, even the ones no one bothered to ask but should have.**


End file.
